Sexual Health

Too tired for sex: 6 tips to enjoy sex

Too much work in office or household chores can make you feel really tired. So, you may feel too tired for sex. Don’t worry, you can still enjoy sex after a tiring day.

There are days when you may feel too tired for sex. It may be due to lack of sleep or too much work in the office or home. Taking care of children, spouse or ageing parents along with office work can wear you out. Sometimes you get too stressed to even think about sex. But as it happens, good sex can turn your mood and energy around! Even if you have a lot on your plate, you can still enjoy sex. Read on to find out how to enjoy sex after a tiring day.

Why is a satisfying sex life important in a relationship?

A satisfying sex life is an undeniable aspect and a basic prerequisite for a healthy relationship, says comprehensive sexuality educator and public health and gender anthropologist Artika Singh. In general, good sex is associated with improved intimacy, establishment of trust, and conflict resolution within relationships. In relationships, a good sex life can also become a medium through which one expresses love, commitment and compatibility towards their partner and is also an area that allows partners to explore communication styles.

Women may be tired for sex due to many reasons. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

A good sex life also has physical and mental health benefits like stress reduction, happiness, hormonal regulation, and better sleep. According to a 2019 research published in the Sexual Medicinefrequent sexual activity, at least twice a month, is associated with benefits for psychological and physiological well-being. The benefits include improved quality of life and mental health.

Why do some women get too tired for sex?

Sex is not just a physical act. Instead, it is a physical and emotional expression of one’s sexuality – alone or with a partner. Accordingly, the reasons for feeling too tired can be many. Sexual dysfunctions in women like vaginismus, vulvodynia, and anorgasmia may cause agony about having sex leading to avoidance of sex overall, says the expert. Stress, lack of sleep, hormonal imbalances may make one feel fatigued for any activity including sex.

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Other factors are:

  • Relationship conflicts
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Reduced sex drive

Identifying what is causing you the fatigue towards sex can help address the concern with a professional and slowly build back interest towards sex.

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How to enjoy sex after a tiring day?

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1. Destress

Instead of jumping straight to sex, take time to relax and do whatever soothes you. This could include taking a warm bath, doing yoga, practicing mindfulness. A calmer mind means better chances of arousal and pleasure.

2. Talk to your partner

Communication is key in a healthy relationship. Talking to your helps you establish a deeper connection. It may help have better sex, says Singh.

3. Nourish yourself

After calming your mind, it is also important to feed and hydrate your body. It also gives you the energy to participate in sex.

A couple having sex
Set the mood before having sex. Image courtesy: Freepik

4. Don’t forget foreplay

Set the mood with candles, music, blankets, and even a movie. These can be part of your foreplaywhich can help you transition from relaxed to relaxing sex. Also, candles, aroma oils, and music can awaken your senses and help you feel more present.

5. Go solo

Whether you have a partner or not, on some days masturbation can be the relaxing activity you need. Combine it with a warm bath, candles and music.

6. Be nice to yourself

It is okay to not want to have sex every once in a while. This may be due to physical fatigue or some other reason. You and your partner may not always want to have sex at the same time, and that is not a bad thing, says the expert. Recognise your needs, be nice yourself and do what feels best.

Don’t forget aftercare! Typically, aftercare is associated with bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadism. But it can be practiced in any form of sex to overcome tiredness, transition back to reality post-sex and even get better sleep. You can drink water, pee or cuddle after sex.

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