In the novel “The Language of Flowers,” by Vanessa Diffenbaugh (2011), the main character’s only connection to herself and the world is through flowers and their meaning. She communicates her ideas and emotions utilizing flowers, as they offer her the gap she must really feel secure. Every kind of flower represents a special emotional state; for example, she’ll give “Honeysuckle for devotion, Red Roses for love, and Asters for patience”. After all, this can be a e book of fiction, and as lovely as it could be to talk by way of flowers, we dwell in the true world. We must learn to use our words and the language of feelings to connect with ourselves and others. How can we do this?
The therapist’s query, “How does that make you feel?” has lengthy been fodder for parody. Possessing the vocabulary to higher describe our emotions permits us to concentrate on the nuances of what we really feel. This helps to control our reactions in a wholesome productive manner and higher talk with others.
Psychiatrist and mindfulness expert, Dr. Daniel Siegel, coined the phrase, “Name it to Tame it”. His assertion is that when you discover that you’re having a powerful emotional response, naming it permits for “your emotion to inform you and not overwhelm you”. Discovering a vocabulary of particular phrases to explain what we’re feeling and to talk them as we expertise them offers us a “time out” to achieve a ways from them. This “affect labeling” has been proven to lower exercise within the Amygdala which is the a part of our mind extremely concerned with emotional responses – it makes snap selections. Once we press pause and title our robust feelings, our Amygdala will get quieted and our reasoning mind can get again on-line. This then permits us to be higher related with our emotions whereas having the house to decide on how we need to act reasonably than react. On this calmer state we will ask ourselves, “What can I learn from this feeling?” As an observer of our emotions, we will see extra clearly. If we know what we feel and can name it, we can be more intentional about making thoughtful choices and gain more control over our lives.
Right here’s a vocabulary checklist of some feeling states to assist higher outline our feelings:
“Aggression, Anger, Apathy, Anxiety, Boredom, Contempt, Depression, Disgust, Doubt, Empathy, Envy, Fear, Guilt, Hatred, Hope, Horror, Hostility, Hunger, Hysteria, Joy, Loneliness, Love, Paranoia, Pity, Pleasure, Pride, Rage, Regret, Remorse, Sadness, Shame, Shock, Suffering, Surprise, Sympathy, Trust”.
Attempt to title it and watch your self tame it!